the daily snivel
Let the obfuscation begin!
A very unsatisfactory form-response from Bell Canada that was sent to me and several friends following our complaint:
Note how Bell is attempting to say "Aw, shucks, lighten up! We was just kidding around!" as if to imply that it is the unsophisticated sense of humour of those who complain that is at fault, and not their mangled message. Note also that the print ads are entirely divorced from the context of the televison ads, which I pointed out involved a creepy family without implying that they were going too far -- after all, Bell Sympatico effectively embraced such censorship by peddling the parental control software.
It's hard to say you're being tongue-in-cheek about something when you're marketing a product to serve the very interest you're being tongue-in-cheek about. It would be like advertising scalpels in the context of female circumcision and then saying "We were just poking fun at the lengths some people will go to in using our products to slice off parts of the human body. Lighten up!"
In a word, disingenuous.
Mutter.
Well, I guess it's Rogers Hi-Speed internet for me next year...
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Good day,
Your email has been forwarded to our Bell Advertising Team.
Please be advised that in no way does Bell Canada find the female body inappropriate. Our advertisement was a tongue-in-cheek attempt to show the lengths
some people will go to in order to protect their children from "inappropriate" subject matter - the implication being that textbook diagrams of the human anatomy are the furthest thing from "inappropriate". This message was intended to play off of some of our other recent television ads that poked fun at those that go to far. This was not meant to be taken literally.
Thank you for your feedback. We appreciate your comments and take them very seriously.
Regards,
Bell Canada Entreprises
Bcecomms@bce.ca
Tel.: 1 888 932-6666
Fax: (514) 870-4385
Note how Bell is attempting to say "Aw, shucks, lighten up! We was just kidding around!" as if to imply that it is the unsophisticated sense of humour of those who complain that is at fault, and not their mangled message. Note also that the print ads are entirely divorced from the context of the televison ads, which I pointed out involved a creepy family without implying that they were going too far -- after all, Bell Sympatico effectively embraced such censorship by peddling the parental control software.
It's hard to say you're being tongue-in-cheek about something when you're marketing a product to serve the very interest you're being tongue-in-cheek about. It would be like advertising scalpels in the context of female circumcision and then saying "We were just poking fun at the lengths some people will go to in using our products to slice off parts of the human body. Lighten up!"
In a word, disingenuous.
Mutter.
Well, I guess it's Rogers Hi-Speed internet for me next year...
Everybody hates women, right?
More on the hateful and ignorant advertisements by Bell Sympatico that eviscerate everything female from the human body as "inappropriate content." A good friend of mine created a site for people to discuss their responses and actions at Agatha's Apples. Here's a snippet from a complaint sent out to Bell:
Go and participate. Comments are open and waiting for your own insights.
Hello BCE Communications and Customer Care,
I am deeply shocked and offended by Bell Sympatico's recent print advertisement depicting a grade-school-anatomy-like picture of a woman with all pictorial references to the female reproductive system (breast and pelvic regions) cut out. The advertisement includes the caption"You'll do anything to protect your kids from inappropriate content. So will we."
The picture is reminiscent of the sort of diagram that young people would be shown during sexual health education classes and depicts the circulatory system and bone and muscle structure under "transparent" skin. Aside from the aforementioned cut-out regions on the female figure, there are six small surrounding illustrations labelled Liver, Heart, Uterus, Brain, Ovary, Kidney. The picture of the uterus and ovary have been cut out as well.
The reason this ad is so deeply offensive is its strong misogynistic tone in proposing to parents and children that the female body is an inappropriate thing, in and of itself, which must be censored and against which children must be protected. In the advertisement, the female body is depicted in a clinical drawing of the type used to educate children in schools; a nondescript female form with its arms at its side. Similar drawings may be seen in a pediatrician or family doctor's office.
While there are many expected, out-dated, misogynistic depictions of women that could equally have been quite unfairly paired with the discriminatory term "inappropriate," (such as a woman in revealing clothing, a strong successful woman in business attire, a woman in the scientific professions, etc...), the use of such a clinical figure is the very thing that makes the ad so particularly offensive and surprising.
The ad suggests that the figure represented is inappropriate because it has female reproductive parts. The figure in the ad is not engaging in any behaviour that could possibly be considered inappropriate / sexually explicit. It is simply standing. It is not performing any indecent act. It would be difficult to successfully argue that the ad is meant to suggest that the figure is inappropriate simply because it is nude, and not because it is female, and therefore not misogynistic and discriminatory. Note that it is only a female figure which appears in the ad; how could this not have been a conscious decision in designing this ad? Why not a male figure alongside it with his breast and pelvic regions cut out as well?
...
Go and participate. Comments are open and waiting for your own insights.
Fight test
You probably didn't see it before, since the post was hidden as a draft until I finished it just yesterday, so I'll point your attention to the outcome of my trial last week.
Saturday, February 26, 2005 I get letters
This one made my morning...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Hi there:
I went online looking for directions. You see, I'm not a big eater, but I wanted pizza. So I bought a Kraft pizza mix I had nostalgic feelings about (my dad could make Kraft pizza and french fries, and that's it). So, one day a couple of weeks ago, I made a pizza and tupperwared (actually glad-ed) up the remaining mix for another day. I thought I was SO smart and thrifty, too, it caused me a natural high for a day or two, but losing the emporer of the world election brought me back down to the statusphere (who wants to be on earth?). Anyway, I decided today I'd make the remainder of my pizza, only to discover I hadn't kept a copy of the directions. So I turned to my trusty...well, my computer, anyway, and went to Kraft.com hoping against hope they'd post directions. They don't. Bastards.
So I googled Kraft pizza mix, directions, and up came your site. All I wanted was a way to feed myself, and I got such a treat. I really enjoyed the couple of moments I spent on your site.
I just wanted to thank you for the directions, congratulate you on your wit and cleverness and inquire if it would be alright to indicate your website's address on my site (a lowly site of blogs and a pictures, mostly for my distant family to keep up on me--and for my friends to make fun of me, but that's something else).
Stupid Sympatico
I have to say, I am strongly offended by the latest advertising campaign by Bell Sympatico, which is a major internet service provider belonging to Bell Canada, our national telephone company. While it might seem that I get offended by something or other on a daily basis, think about the crummy world of Mars and Mammon that we live in before you call me the crazy one.
The television ads feature a hyper-controlling set of parents who subscribe to Sympatico High Speed internet and extoll the joys of being able to censor every little bit of life from their children's eyes with the parental control features. These commercials feature, by way of example, an illustration from a textbook of the female body that has been censored. I thought it was in incredibly poor taste to portray basic anatomy as something even the most repressive parent would want to keep from their children (though I know such sad people exist), though at least it was fairly clear in the commercial how creepy and awful the actors portraying the parents were (I mean, it was clear, wasn't it?).
The print ads are abominable, however. I've scanned them here so you can be outraged in the comfort of your home:
Click on the thumbnail to view full size:
As a man, and someone who loves women and has a shocking fetish for human rights, I'm deeply offended by the implication that femininity is something that has to be surgically eviscerated from the human body. While I personally have crappy, dialup, low-speed, non-Sympatico internet access, I can tell you that I will refuse to use Sympatico when I do upgrade to high-speed internet next year when I'm articling -- unless Bell apologizes. Not just stops running the ads, but apologizes. I'm going to be writing a complaint to them and encourage you to do the same. Here's a link to their corporate feedback to get you started, but as always I recommend sending paper letters because they get more weighted in the hierarchy of public complaints.
The Breast Blog has information about the ad and how to complain:
Here's a good rant about it:
UPDATE: A good friend of mine has created a site for public discussion of this ad. Please have a gander at Agatha's Apples
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 The television ads feature a hyper-controlling set of parents who subscribe to Sympatico High Speed internet and extoll the joys of being able to censor every little bit of life from their children's eyes with the parental control features. These commercials feature, by way of example, an illustration from a textbook of the female body that has been censored. I thought it was in incredibly poor taste to portray basic anatomy as something even the most repressive parent would want to keep from their children (though I know such sad people exist), though at least it was fairly clear in the commercial how creepy and awful the actors portraying the parents were (I mean, it was clear, wasn't it?).
The print ads are abominable, however. I've scanned them here so you can be outraged in the comfort of your home:
Click on the thumbnail to view full size:
As a man, and someone who loves women and has a shocking fetish for human rights, I'm deeply offended by the implication that femininity is something that has to be surgically eviscerated from the human body. While I personally have crappy, dialup, low-speed, non-Sympatico internet access, I can tell you that I will refuse to use Sympatico when I do upgrade to high-speed internet next year when I'm articling -- unless Bell apologizes. Not just stops running the ads, but apologizes. I'm going to be writing a complaint to them and encourage you to do the same. Here's a link to their corporate feedback to get you started, but as always I recommend sending paper letters because they get more weighted in the hierarchy of public complaints.
The Breast Blog has information about the ad and how to complain:
I subscribe to our daily newspaper, The Mercury. Yesterday's edition included a loose leaf advertisement for Bell Sympatico DSL Basic Service. The caption read, PROTECT YOUR FAMILY. Then offered the following statement. "You'll do anything to protect your kids from inappropriate content. So will we."
So far so good. I know how much pornography fills my in box on a daily basis despite the filters that I have in place. Unfortunately, Bell didn't stop there. Bell added a photograph. And don't we all know that a picture speaks a thousand words.
The photo shows the top of a elementary school desk. On the desk is a pencil and an open text book. According to my friend Katie, a grade five teacher, it is exactly like the textbook she uses to teach health science to her class of 35 students.
The text is open to a page titled "The Female Body". This alone infuriated me. Imagine suggesting that our children should be protected for a grade five text book and specifically from learning about the female body.
But it gets worse.
The Female Body page shows a full frontal drawing of a female body with bones, internal organs and veins visible through the skin. Around that figure are smaller boxes that have featured body parts. The brain, kidney, liver, heart, ovaries and what may be the fallopian tubes. But here's the outrageous part. Someone at the advertising department cut out the image of what appears to be the fallopian tube along with the ovaries. They chopped out the female bodies breasts and pelvic area too.
So here's the message I get from this Bell ad. Our children need to be protected from learning about the sexual organs of the female body in an educational setting and context.
Ignorance is not healthy.
I have already registered an official complaint with Bell's Executive office. I have requested immediate withdrawal of the ad and a public apology in the newspapers that it appeared in. It took me some time to get to the right department, so I'll save you the time by giving you the toll free number if you want to add your voice. 1 866 317-3382.
Here's a good rant about it:
Bell’s new advertisement has made it to my home today. As Nathan, my sweetheart, stepped inside the door, he handed me Bell’s brochure which arrived in our mail today. His comment is that he HAD to show this to me because well… After looking at it, I realized why.
The advertisement is a typical Bell fold-over brochure. This one is promoting its internet service. On the cover is a picture of a textbook (likely a basic anatomy textbook) depicting “The Female Body". The female’s breasts and genitalia are cut out of the page of the textbook. To the right side reads, “You’ll do anything to protect your kids from inappropriate content. So will we.”
Upon seeing this, the first thought in my mind is “What the hell?” Apparently, the female body is “inappropriate content” for our children. So much for the new age of enlightenment. Seeing this ad, I feel like I have been thrown into the dark ages.
There are two important issues that come to mind when I see this ad. First, education about sex (even just the anatomical parts) is a bad thing. It is inappropriate for our children to learn about sex. Second, the female body is a bad thing. It is inappropriate and shameful to see.
...
The second issue with the Bell ad is one I consider to be a more important issue. The message that is relayed to me is, “The female body is inappropriate content.” The issue of kids aside (I’ve already gone over how children already know about sex. By that same token, kids know about the female body, even if subconsciously. So why hide the female body from children? It nurtured the child for 9 months, for goddess’ sake!), the message relayed taps directly into women’s issues about their bodies and further promotes a negative image of women. “Women’s bodies are bad. It is shameful to be a woman. A woman’s body should be covered up. Children need to be protected from the shame that is women.” As a women, I’ve learned over the years to appreciate my body. As a pagan, I’ve learned that the body is each person’s temple and it should be treated as such. Not many women are as lucky. Some women struggle with these issues still. Some cultures still treat women as the personification of evil. Some cultures still force women to cover their bodies because it is shameful to expose them. It has been a long road for women to gain equal rights as men. For some, that time still has to arrive. The Bell ad perpetuates the idea that women are shameful and evil. It perpetuates an idea that I thought would never be seen again in this society (North America). I guess I was wrong.
UPDATE: A good friend of mine has created a site for public discussion of this ad. Please have a gander at Agatha's Apples
Rob has a showdown with the vast powers of the criminal justice system, and the criminal justice system blinks.
Just a quick update while I'm on my way to conduct interviews for the summer student hiring committee here at the Legal Clinic to let you know that my trial date finally came around yesterday morning, and I showed up ready and willing to duke it out.
We had a great deal proposed, but at the last minute the Crown tried to up the ante, insisting on more from my client in the same breath as chastising me for trying to renegotiate a better deal for my client (Them: "Don't try to re-negotiate this with us!" Me: "In fairness, that's what you're doing." Them: "That was an offer to treat! It was always conditional!" Me: "Well, I have to advocate for my client's best interest." Them: "Oh, sure, you have to advocate." -- and so on.) So, I took the proposed new, worse offer to my client, who waffled for a bit but eventually settled on taking it to trial.
I wasn't watching the Crown Attorney's face when, a few minutes later, I stood up before the judge and told him that we were prepared to go to trial, but a friend who was watching said the Crown's face just dropped. He then backpedaled and stood the matter down, telling the judge that he believed we could still reach a resolution. An hour and a half of negotiations ensued, mostly involving him storming over to me, reminding me of the peril my client was in if this went to trial, and storming away again as I stood my ground and awaited production of proof of the allegations that were being made. Looking back on it, it was clear he didn't want this trial to run, but I still felt that wonderful euphoria of epinephrine (not adrenaline -- "Why did adrenaline get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks'") filling me in anticipation of the chase, the battle, and fighting the good fight for my client.
In the end, I stood my ground and the Crown blinked, and we got our original agreement on the plea negotiation after all. The investigating officer was hopping mad at the end, insisting that the Crown just run the trial and stick it to my client, but in the end the Crown realized he didn't have the proof he thought he did and he gave me what I wanted. The irritation of the good detective only made me feel more vindicated since, as you know, anything that really pisses off the police can only be good for my client. As much as I would have loved to have gone to trial that morning and cut their witnesses to pieces with what I can tell you were some great cross-examinations and dazzled the judge with the legal arguments that so impressed my supervisors, my client got the best deal possible and in the end I was bound to follow their instructions and not my competitive side.
What makes me happiest and most proud is just realizing I do have that strong, competitive, combative ability, and that I will stand up to bullies and hold my ground when I believe I'm right. I don't think I always would have had the confidence, and it makes me feel good to see how much I've come into my own.
What's more, now that the 12-16 hour days of trial preparation are over and behind me, I have my life back and am starting to do things like go home before 11:30 pm, go out and see friends, return to the gym, and enjoy sunlight. I do have all those classes and other cases to stay on top of, but I really am in the home stretch given that the school year ends in April and graduation comes shortly after that. Good times, here I come!
Friday, February 18, 2005 We had a great deal proposed, but at the last minute the Crown tried to up the ante, insisting on more from my client in the same breath as chastising me for trying to renegotiate a better deal for my client (Them: "Don't try to re-negotiate this with us!" Me: "In fairness, that's what you're doing." Them: "That was an offer to treat! It was always conditional!" Me: "Well, I have to advocate for my client's best interest." Them: "Oh, sure, you have to advocate." -- and so on.) So, I took the proposed new, worse offer to my client, who waffled for a bit but eventually settled on taking it to trial.
I wasn't watching the Crown Attorney's face when, a few minutes later, I stood up before the judge and told him that we were prepared to go to trial, but a friend who was watching said the Crown's face just dropped. He then backpedaled and stood the matter down, telling the judge that he believed we could still reach a resolution. An hour and a half of negotiations ensued, mostly involving him storming over to me, reminding me of the peril my client was in if this went to trial, and storming away again as I stood my ground and awaited production of proof of the allegations that were being made. Looking back on it, it was clear he didn't want this trial to run, but I still felt that wonderful euphoria of epinephrine (not adrenaline -- "Why did adrenaline get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks'") filling me in anticipation of the chase, the battle, and fighting the good fight for my client.
In the end, I stood my ground and the Crown blinked, and we got our original agreement on the plea negotiation after all. The investigating officer was hopping mad at the end, insisting that the Crown just run the trial and stick it to my client, but in the end the Crown realized he didn't have the proof he thought he did and he gave me what I wanted. The irritation of the good detective only made me feel more vindicated since, as you know, anything that really pisses off the police can only be good for my client. As much as I would have loved to have gone to trial that morning and cut their witnesses to pieces with what I can tell you were some great cross-examinations and dazzled the judge with the legal arguments that so impressed my supervisors, my client got the best deal possible and in the end I was bound to follow their instructions and not my competitive side.
What makes me happiest and most proud is just realizing I do have that strong, competitive, combative ability, and that I will stand up to bullies and hold my ground when I believe I'm right. I don't think I always would have had the confidence, and it makes me feel good to see how much I've come into my own.
What's more, now that the 12-16 hour days of trial preparation are over and behind me, I have my life back and am starting to do things like go home before 11:30 pm, go out and see friends, return to the gym, and enjoy sunlight. I do have all those classes and other cases to stay on top of, but I really am in the home stretch given that the school year ends in April and graduation comes shortly after that. Good times, here I come!
All hail the Hypno-toad!
I could watch this for hours.
-- So says Rob, the Futurama fan who's still at the Legal Clinic at 10:37 pm on a Friday night.
-- So says Rob, the Futurama fan who's still at the Legal Clinic at 10:37 pm on a Friday night.
They like me! They really like me!
I was thrilled to get the word today that I have been awarded the Clarey B. Sproule Award for my work here at the University of Ottawa Community Legal Clinic. I'm sharing it with another deserving caseworker, and I have to say that it's a really great shot in ther arm. I feel like maybe I am doing some good here and that I've earned a reputation for working hard and giving a lot of myself. In my darker moments, I don't always see this, so it's a true honour to have received this award (and the not insignificant cash bursary that comes along with it).
And now back to all that hard work that got me here in the first place...
And now back to all that hard work that got me here in the first place...
Jesus is just alright with me
An excellent commentary by a Jesuit priest to tide you over while I work on my closing arguments:
Thursday, February 17, 2005 Last September, I spoke to some 2,000 students during their annual lecture at a Baptist college in Pennsylvania. After a short prayer service for peace centered on the Beatitudes, I took the stage and got right to the point. “Now let me get this straight,” I said. “Jesus says, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers,’ which means he does not say, ‘Blessed are the warmakers,’ which means, the warmakers are not blessed, which means warmakers are cursed, which means, if you want to follow the nonviolent Jesus you have to work for peace, which means, we all have to resist this horrific, evil war on the people of Iraq.”
With that, the place exploded, and 500 students stormed out. The rest of them then started chanting, “Bush! Bush! Bush!”
So much for my speech. Not to mention the Beatitudes.
I was not at all surprised that George W. Bush was reelected president. As I travel the country speaking out against war, injustice and nuclear weapons, I see many people consciously siding with the culture of war, choosing the path of violence, supporting corporate greed, rampant militarism, and global domination. I see many others swept up in the raging current of patriotism. Since most of these people, beginning with the president, claim to be Christian, I am ashamed and appalled that they support war and systemic injustice, that they do it in the name of God, and that they feign fidelity to the nonviolent Jesus who gave his life resisting institutionalized injustice.
***
I used to think these all-American Christians never read the Gospel, that they simply chose not to be authentic disciples of the nonviolent Jesus. Now, alas, I think they have indeed chosen discipleship, but not to the hero of the Gospels, Jesus. Instead, through their actions, they have become disciples of the devout, religious, all-powerful, murderous Pharisees who killed him.
Cross-examination is hard
Someday, I'm sure, I'll be a fantastic and devastating person to confront in a cross-examination (which is the series of leading questions that you relentlessly disintegrate the witness for the other side with), but until that wonderful era 5 or 10 years of criminal practice hence, I'm still learning.
For instance, you'd be surprised how difficult it is to get someone to say "You're darn RIGHT I'm a dirty liar! And I'd do it again!"
I'm still preparing for my trial, which runs early next week, and figuring out how to devastate the other side's witnesses with sufficient poise, subtlety and insight that they don't see it coming until it's too late. After all, you're effectively building traps for people with words, gradually edging in closer and closer as they agree to seemingly reasonable propositions until the trap springs and they're caught agreeing to something they never would have admitted before.
Now, there's still an awfully good chance the trial will settle (we still have a great deal on the table), but the pieces that should have been in place by now still aren't, so here we are.
So that's where I am right now. Still at the Clinic at 8:pm on a Thurssday night, with a bandage on my finger from the blister I got from turning so many pages.
Have fun without me, world.
Monday, February 14, 2005 For instance, you'd be surprised how difficult it is to get someone to say "You're darn RIGHT I'm a dirty liar! And I'd do it again!"
I'm still preparing for my trial, which runs early next week, and figuring out how to devastate the other side's witnesses with sufficient poise, subtlety and insight that they don't see it coming until it's too late. After all, you're effectively building traps for people with words, gradually edging in closer and closer as they agree to seemingly reasonable propositions until the trap springs and they're caught agreeing to something they never would have admitted before.
Now, there's still an awfully good chance the trial will settle (we still have a great deal on the table), but the pieces that should have been in place by now still aren't, so here we are.
So that's where I am right now. Still at the Clinic at 8:pm on a Thurssday night, with a bandage on my finger from the blister I got from turning so many pages.
Have fun without me, world.
Happy Ritualized, and Therefore Hollow, Expression of Love Day
Perhaps it's true that those who fear and loathe Valentine's Day the most are the single, forgotten ones like me, but this doesn't make my disdain any less fervent. It's that magical day of the year when the vast machinery of corporate mammon and social expectations trembles at the redline in celebrating the sweet nothings and contrived platitudes of this thing you humans call "wuv." There's no more poignant reminder of solitude or dissatisfaction to be found. Heck, even those in relationships are under pressure to live up to expectations and wow 'em with a big routine proving their love for another year.
And it's at this point on St. Valentine's Day that I normally self-medicate with chocolate and all would be well.
Now, don't you fret none, I'm just a little tired and grouchy this year. Normally, of course, I express my feelings for my near and dear friends with the distribution of valentines and chocolate, just like we did in grade school, but I don't have the time or money this year. I adore the old punch-out valentines from childhood, that have terrible puns (like on the Simpsons: "I choo-choo-choose you") and syrupy illustrations, and in fact my dear friend Natalie just sent me a package of vintage cards she found somewhere, including the silly and sweet ones above ("Let-tuce be valentines," and there's a picture of a head of lettuce with come-hither eyes) as well as some great vintage cards from 1984 with Return of the Jedi characters, including one with Darth Vader and two Imperial Guards with the festive "Have a happy Valentine's Day... Or Else."
What one must always remember is that it's the other 364 days of the year that are truly important to demonstrating one's affection for another person, and if you can manage to do that, there's no reason to put on a production for February 14 at all (except insofar as it's one of those days you remember to make the people you love feel important to you). Most of the people I know, in relationships and out of them, live by this principle and it seems to create a lot more happiness than going all out just because it's the time of year that you're supposed to do such things. Tonight after finishing my work and hitting the gym, I'm going to have a quiet evening at home with a good friend and a good cat, and feel lucky to have the friends and memories I do.
But I must confess, an awful lot of my friends are settling down, pairing up, and getting married these days. I ran into a friend from high school last week and she updated me on who (in the 10 intervening years) has gotten married, who has kids now, and who is engaged. My pal Jason, now living in Toronto, is getting married this summer, and my best friend Mike is getting married in August as well. Most of my friends are in relationships, and you start feeling a bit left out. And, well, lonely. And at the same time, I'm not really in a position to meet new people. I'm still getting into shape at the gym, I practically live at the legal clinic, and I'm moving to Toronto in the summer anyway. Even if anybody wanted to go out with me (and that's a doubtful situation given the, cough, fantastic response I've found in my periodic dalliances through on-line dating sites), I have neither time nor the ability to offer much past August, when I move away for at least a year.
But, oh, when you're alone at night, even a tiny twin bed feels awfully empty.
So, where's this rambly tale of woe and vitriol going? I'm not sure. But here's my prescription: if you love someone, let them know. Not just tonight, but continually. Chocolate, flowers, back rubs, and smooching are bitter things indeed on Valentine's Day if you don't give them and get them throughout the year.
Monday, February 07, 2005 And it's at this point on St. Valentine's Day that I normally self-medicate with chocolate and all would be well.
Now, don't you fret none, I'm just a little tired and grouchy this year. Normally, of course, I express my feelings for my near and dear friends with the distribution of valentines and chocolate, just like we did in grade school, but I don't have the time or money this year. I adore the old punch-out valentines from childhood, that have terrible puns (like on the Simpsons: "I choo-choo-choose you") and syrupy illustrations, and in fact my dear friend Natalie just sent me a package of vintage cards she found somewhere, including the silly and sweet ones above ("Let-tuce be valentines," and there's a picture of a head of lettuce with come-hither eyes) as well as some great vintage cards from 1984 with Return of the Jedi characters, including one with Darth Vader and two Imperial Guards with the festive "Have a happy Valentine's Day... Or Else."
What one must always remember is that it's the other 364 days of the year that are truly important to demonstrating one's affection for another person, and if you can manage to do that, there's no reason to put on a production for February 14 at all (except insofar as it's one of those days you remember to make the people you love feel important to you). Most of the people I know, in relationships and out of them, live by this principle and it seems to create a lot more happiness than going all out just because it's the time of year that you're supposed to do such things. Tonight after finishing my work and hitting the gym, I'm going to have a quiet evening at home with a good friend and a good cat, and feel lucky to have the friends and memories I do.
But I must confess, an awful lot of my friends are settling down, pairing up, and getting married these days. I ran into a friend from high school last week and she updated me on who (in the 10 intervening years) has gotten married, who has kids now, and who is engaged. My pal Jason, now living in Toronto, is getting married this summer, and my best friend Mike is getting married in August as well. Most of my friends are in relationships, and you start feeling a bit left out. And, well, lonely. And at the same time, I'm not really in a position to meet new people. I'm still getting into shape at the gym, I practically live at the legal clinic, and I'm moving to Toronto in the summer anyway. Even if anybody wanted to go out with me (and that's a doubtful situation given the, cough, fantastic response I've found in my periodic dalliances through on-line dating sites), I have neither time nor the ability to offer much past August, when I move away for at least a year.
But, oh, when you're alone at night, even a tiny twin bed feels awfully empty.
So, where's this rambly tale of woe and vitriol going? I'm not sure. But here's my prescription: if you love someone, let them know. Not just tonight, but continually. Chocolate, flowers, back rubs, and smooching are bitter things indeed on Valentine's Day if you don't give them and get them throughout the year.
Rob's love affair tempestuous dalliance with the automobile
As I near closer to April, when I can take my road test and get my G2 driver's licence, I'm inevitably left with the conclusion that once all that is out of the way, I'm going to need to buy a car. I'll need one as soon as I begin my articles in September, and it seems like an awful thing to have to arrange at the last minute when I move to Toronto in August, so most likely this is something that will be done in July. Yipes.
Now, I do think driving is quite enjoyable, and I've really developed a feel for it. I've even booked more lessons in the weeks ahead just so I can stay in practice and iron out the few little things I'm not doing well (like bloody lot/stall parking), but I'm definitely not a fan of the general obsession we westerners have with our cars. You konw, the power and sex appeal and 'zoom-zoom' and driving to the corner store and all that. Given that we had a smog warning just a few days ago, in fricking February, I'm not sure we need to drive as often as we do. Nevertheless, it is a necessary and sufficient precondition of my employment (the last thing my future boss said to me after offering me the job last August was, "And, Rob, don't forget about the car!") so here we go.
But that doesn't mean I'm satisfied buying a car on terms that are not my own. I'm constrained, of course, by the fact that I'll just be starting out as a graduate and on a very tight budget, but I've thought quite a bit about whether to buy a smaller new car or go for something larger and fancier but used, but am presently leaning towards new, reliable, and efficient. The most important things I need will be fuel efficiency and reliability, because I am a smelly hippie and I do care about how much gas my car will suck and how much poison it will belch back out into the air, given that my employment will demand a heavy amount of driving each day. That said, I also need something reliable that won't break down without warning, as much as is possible. Finally, safety is pretty important given that however good a driver I may be at the end fo this process, you can't account for all the other idiots out there.
My sister, who is articling this year, bought a new Hyundai Accent, and while she got a great deal and a car that is very well equipped (with air conditioning, power mirrors, dual air bags, and a CD player) for a fantastic price with a fantastic 5-year warranty, and not to mention that it's very well rated in the Lemon-Aid guide, I'm still leaning away from it (though not definitively without a test drive and so on) because it's a bit wee, good on fuel but not great, with mixed reviews by owners and testers (you either love it or hate it), and because I'm not in love with the style.
That said, it was something I was seriously considering, and still am, but now it's taken second place to the 2005 Toyota Echo Hatchback (warning: website makes annoying vroom-vroom noises). Despite my beloved Celeste's chidings against cute cars (this weekend she was bemoaning my interest in hatchbacks at all, let alone the dreaded New Beetle that I was thinking about getting used), I think the damn thing is adorable and zippy. It really has to be seen. I've ridden in one and found it remarkably roomy for a subcompact, in large part because the car has a lot of vertical room and so the seats are elevated, creating more overall room without requiring a long car. All reviewers like its visibility, and love its fuel economy (one of its main features), since it can go a ridiculous 44 miles per gallon in the city, and 54 on the highway with a manual transmission. The only car that gets better economy is a hybrid. It also just won a 2005 EnerGuide award for low emissions. Meanwhile, it also comes standard with two airbags, anti-lock brakes, tilt steering, and the "LE" package I'm favouring gives it power steering, a rear windshield wiper, extra speakers, and splash guards, though I'll have to pay extra for air conditioning if I want a CD player upgrade (from AM/FM cassette, though I may keep it as is since I'm probably going to rely on my iPod and a car adapter kit for music anyway). It's also freakishly manoeuverable because of its compact size.
What's more, Toyota's reliability is very high and the Echo hatchback is becoming quite popular even though the sedan has had mixed results in North America (I agree that the sedan is a little plain and uninspired). Not everyone likes the fact that the instrument panel is on the centre of the dashboard, angled towards the driver (it took me by surprise) but I'm getting used to it when I see it now. The universal thing I see is that everyone who owns them loves them, and I'm quite keen to try one out for a test drive. I love the fact that they stand out, even though they're small. In a world of gray sedans, it's a distinctive and "cute" car that's still peppy and (yes) environmentally conscious and they're fun to see in traffic. I'm leaning towards blue, but red and black are also quite nice colours for it.
Anyway, if anyone has experience with either of the above new cars, or any other great new or used cars in my miserly price range, please let me know.
Now, I do think driving is quite enjoyable, and I've really developed a feel for it. I've even booked more lessons in the weeks ahead just so I can stay in practice and iron out the few little things I'm not doing well (like bloody lot/stall parking), but I'm definitely not a fan of the general obsession we westerners have with our cars. You konw, the power and sex appeal and 'zoom-zoom' and driving to the corner store and all that. Given that we had a smog warning just a few days ago, in fricking February, I'm not sure we need to drive as often as we do. Nevertheless, it is a necessary and sufficient precondition of my employment (the last thing my future boss said to me after offering me the job last August was, "And, Rob, don't forget about the car!") so here we go.
But that doesn't mean I'm satisfied buying a car on terms that are not my own. I'm constrained, of course, by the fact that I'll just be starting out as a graduate and on a very tight budget, but I've thought quite a bit about whether to buy a smaller new car or go for something larger and fancier but used, but am presently leaning towards new, reliable, and efficient. The most important things I need will be fuel efficiency and reliability, because I am a smelly hippie and I do care about how much gas my car will suck and how much poison it will belch back out into the air, given that my employment will demand a heavy amount of driving each day. That said, I also need something reliable that won't break down without warning, as much as is possible. Finally, safety is pretty important given that however good a driver I may be at the end fo this process, you can't account for all the other idiots out there.
My sister, who is articling this year, bought a new Hyundai Accent, and while she got a great deal and a car that is very well equipped (with air conditioning, power mirrors, dual air bags, and a CD player) for a fantastic price with a fantastic 5-year warranty, and not to mention that it's very well rated in the Lemon-Aid guide, I'm still leaning away from it (though not definitively without a test drive and so on) because it's a bit wee, good on fuel but not great, with mixed reviews by owners and testers (you either love it or hate it), and because I'm not in love with the style.
That said, it was something I was seriously considering, and still am, but now it's taken second place to the 2005 Toyota Echo Hatchback (warning: website makes annoying vroom-vroom noises). Despite my beloved Celeste's chidings against cute cars (this weekend she was bemoaning my interest in hatchbacks at all, let alone the dreaded New Beetle that I was thinking about getting used), I think the damn thing is adorable and zippy. It really has to be seen. I've ridden in one and found it remarkably roomy for a subcompact, in large part because the car has a lot of vertical room and so the seats are elevated, creating more overall room without requiring a long car. All reviewers like its visibility, and love its fuel economy (one of its main features), since it can go a ridiculous 44 miles per gallon in the city, and 54 on the highway with a manual transmission. The only car that gets better economy is a hybrid. It also just won a 2005 EnerGuide award for low emissions. Meanwhile, it also comes standard with two airbags, anti-lock brakes, tilt steering, and the "LE" package I'm favouring gives it power steering, a rear windshield wiper, extra speakers, and splash guards, though I'll have to pay extra for air conditioning if I want a CD player upgrade (from AM/FM cassette, though I may keep it as is since I'm probably going to rely on my iPod and a car adapter kit for music anyway). It's also freakishly manoeuverable because of its compact size.
What's more, Toyota's reliability is very high and the Echo hatchback is becoming quite popular even though the sedan has had mixed results in North America (I agree that the sedan is a little plain and uninspired). Not everyone likes the fact that the instrument panel is on the centre of the dashboard, angled towards the driver (it took me by surprise) but I'm getting used to it when I see it now. The universal thing I see is that everyone who owns them loves them, and I'm quite keen to try one out for a test drive. I love the fact that they stand out, even though they're small. In a world of gray sedans, it's a distinctive and "cute" car that's still peppy and (yes) environmentally conscious and they're fun to see in traffic. I'm leaning towards blue, but red and black are also quite nice colours for it.
Anyway, if anyone has experience with either of the above new cars, or any other great new or used cars in my miserly price range, please let me know.
Credit where it's due
This weekend I had to copy some evidence that had been given to me by the Ottawa Police Service, as the audiotapes are due back on Monday and we wanted copies for ourselves. I decided that instead of dubbing them to cassettes, which just turns bad recordings into worse recordings, I would use my audio line-in to directly record them as high quality audio files on my hard drive and burn them to CD. I'd done this before when I'd transferred my old music cassettes into mp3 format so I could continue enjoying those lovely tunes of the mid-1990s without having to buy everything again on CD. You know, I was unemployed and looking for summer work at the time so I had quite a few dead hours to fill with tedious projects like that.
Anyway, at the time I'd managed to download some shareware audio recording software that allowed me to create the appropriate audio files from my tapes, and I hoped to use them again, when I realized that the shareware licences had long since expired. One of the packages only let you record files up to five minutes in length, and the other had only been fully functional for 30 days. So, I spent an hour on VersionTracker looking for something suitable with a more realistic licence as well.
To no avail. It was all shareware with crippled features unless you paid and registered, which was quite irksome.
Now, let me be clear. The hard work that goes into creating software should be rewarded. I'm a big believer in postcardware and donationware, for example. And if you create something swell that fills a need, why shouldn't you be compensated for that? But when you're just reinventing the wheel, and joining the two hundred other guys with audio recorders who want people to pay $29.95 for a non-crippled version, it's absolutely ridiculous. A lot more recognition would come of simply writing good, clean, software and clobbering the competition by being liberal with the distribution.
And then it was that I decided to see what the open-source community might have to offer.
I love the open-source concept. My friend Brad has an open source music website, where he freely allows people to download his songs and even his source files, even though he also has his music for sale. He figures he'll get way more exposure by sharing his creations freely, which is what he really wants and far more realistic than trying to get rich (though that would be nice).
So, when I hit upon Audacity through the SourceForge.net project, I was extremely pleased and relieved. It is distributed freely on the GNU general public licence and works like a dream. Crisp, clean, simple, easy to install. No nag windows. No crippled features. No buttons with spelling mistakes. The software made short work of my audio recording projects, and now I can make nice, non-degraded CDs out of these godawful tape recordings.
You can be sure that when I'm not a starving law student, I'm going to be donating my money to this amazing project since I don't have the programming wherewithal to donate my time.
Sunday, February 06, 2005 Anyway, at the time I'd managed to download some shareware audio recording software that allowed me to create the appropriate audio files from my tapes, and I hoped to use them again, when I realized that the shareware licences had long since expired. One of the packages only let you record files up to five minutes in length, and the other had only been fully functional for 30 days. So, I spent an hour on VersionTracker looking for something suitable with a more realistic licence as well.
To no avail. It was all shareware with crippled features unless you paid and registered, which was quite irksome.
Now, let me be clear. The hard work that goes into creating software should be rewarded. I'm a big believer in postcardware and donationware, for example. And if you create something swell that fills a need, why shouldn't you be compensated for that? But when you're just reinventing the wheel, and joining the two hundred other guys with audio recorders who want people to pay $29.95 for a non-crippled version, it's absolutely ridiculous. A lot more recognition would come of simply writing good, clean, software and clobbering the competition by being liberal with the distribution.
And then it was that I decided to see what the open-source community might have to offer.
I love the open-source concept. My friend Brad has an open source music website, where he freely allows people to download his songs and even his source files, even though he also has his music for sale. He figures he'll get way more exposure by sharing his creations freely, which is what he really wants and far more realistic than trying to get rich (though that would be nice).
So, when I hit upon Audacity through the SourceForge.net project, I was extremely pleased and relieved. It is distributed freely on the GNU general public licence and works like a dream. Crisp, clean, simple, easy to install. No nag windows. No crippled features. No buttons with spelling mistakes. The software made short work of my audio recording projects, and now I can make nice, non-degraded CDs out of these godawful tape recordings.
You can be sure that when I'm not a starving law student, I'm going to be donating my money to this amazing project since I don't have the programming wherewithal to donate my time.
What is a boy to do?
Well, I'm 29, white, slightly overweight, have no sex life, I talk to my cat, and I don't get out much. And now they've cancelled Star Trek: Enterprise.
What's left for me? Conspiracy theories? Comic books? The Republican Party?
Save me from that fate worse than death! I need a girlfriend, stat!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005 What's left for me? Conspiracy theories? Comic books? The Republican Party?
Save me from that fate worse than death! I need a girlfriend, stat!
And if I still had my virginity, I'd give that to the Clinic, too
I'm sorry to say that my world has suddenly been thrown into a high gear, and I'm putting in 10-12 hour days at the Clinic for most of the month. I have a trial scheduled later in February, and although it may very well settle on a great deal I negotiated last week, we won't necessarily know for certain until a couple of days before the trial is supposed to run. Therefore, in the interest of being responsible advocates, we must prepare as though it were certainly going ahead as scheduled in order to be prepared for any eventuality.
My apologies if my posting is a bit sparse for the next few days. I will update as often as I can.
My apologies if my posting is a bit sparse for the next few days. I will update as often as I can.
