the daily snivel

  It's time you both started seeing other people...

America, I'd like to think that I'm a friend of yours -- or at least, my country is your biggest trading partner and we share the world's longest undefended border -- and I've been really worried about you lately. As a friend I need to tell you something important. A friend doesn't stand by while someone they care about is stuck in a bad relationship. A friend speaks up and says that you need to take charge and move on with your life before this situation gets any worse. That's why you need to break it off with George W. Bush.

I know, America, it's hard to hear. You love him -- of course you do. You've been through a lot together over the past four years, and you believe in standing by your man. But pull up a seat, please, and have a drink with me while I tell you some things I think you need to hear.

First of all, let's talk about September 11, 2001. It was a terrible time for you, America, and Bush was there to console you and offer a strong shoulder in your time of need. The whole world was on your side that day, and Bush stood atop the ruins and promised justice for you. But in the first eight months of his administration, America, George W. Bush and his cabinet put terrorism (at home and abroad) on the back burner so as to focus on issues like the war on drugs, restricting stem cell research, and covering up the breasts of the statue of justice at the Department of Justice. In that time, Bush spent almost the entire month of August, 2001, on vacation in Crawford, Texas. Twenty-eight days of wasted opportunity. Bush and his staff failed to appreciate the significance of a memo stating that there was good new evidence that Osama bin Laden was determined to strike targets on US soil. September 11 was one of the worst things to happen to you, America, but it was the best thing that's ever happened to George W. Bush. It's turned your attention away from how bad he is for you. Bush wasn't looking out for you before terrible that day -- he was just there to pick up the pieces and remind you of it every time you doubted him.

Bush took another 28 day vacation in August 2003, the second-longest vacation of any president in US history. (Record holder Richard Nixon.). Bush has spent no less than 500 days on vacation during his four-year presidency, America. That's over a third of his term. In contrast, America, you only receive thirteen days of vacation on average each year.

George W. Bush promised to make you safer, America, and make the world safer. But he took too long to go to Afghanistan, and let the mastermind of your woes get away. And instead of acknowledging that failure, Bush and his friends switched your attention to Iraq. They made you think that Saddam Hussein was a bad man who had something to do with your woes on September 11, 2001. They made you think he was in league with al-Qaeda. They made you think he had weapons of mass destruction in vast quantities and that he wanted to use them against you. Bush misled the you into an unnecessary war and an intractable quagmire in Iraq; over 993 995 997 999 1000 1001 American soldiers have unnecessarily died in Iraq and over six thousand have been wounded because of that deception, America. 793 of the deaths took place after George W. Bush boasted of an end to major combat operations in Iraq, and goaded your enemies with the arrogant words "Bring them on." And none of those deaths served any good purpose, America. Iraq was no threat to you. Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction, America. You were misled. And every time a new failure emerged, George W. Bush changed the rationale for why he went and why he ordered your soldiers to fight and die. Worse, the constant aggression and saber rattling has heightened tensions between you and North Korea and Iran, nuclear-power nations which do pose a threat, and whose moderate elements have been silenced because of the jingoistic furor stirred up by George W. Bush's poor diplomacy.

George W. Bush lied to you -- he covered up evidence of Saudi state support for al-Qaeda (the Saudies are good friends of George's family, but are no friends of yours, America) even as he misled the US into a war against Iraq based on the lie that Iraq, not Saudi Arabia, supported al-Qaeda terrorists. And by attempting to push other nations around and cajole them into siding with him, George W. Bush has made the world wonder just what kind of country you are, America. A lot of your real friends aren't sure they want to spend time with you anymore, America, because you're always with him. They say you've forgotten them, and don't appreciate them, and call them names.

George W. Bush has failed to do a thing for your economy, losing over 1 million of your jobs and promising he'd get them back, but instead he fooled you into giving new tax givebacks and loopholes for his wealthy friends and backers. George Bush promised you 320,000 new jobs a month, America, but barely delivered 144,000 this month after averaging 104,000 per month in the three months previous. That's not enough even to keep up with the growth of your population, and the 150,000 new people looking for work each month. If you give him another four years, his next plan is to introduce a flat tax (which makes you pay more money for all of his costly wars and contracts, and lets his rich friends pay less), privatize social security (without explaining how he can do so without putting you further in debt and jeopardizing your retirement) and don't forget, America, that George W. Bush has utterly failed to address your health care crisis. During his term, your health care costs have risen 20-25% for the average family, and there are 75 million Americans with no health care at all. Are you really being looked after, America? Or have you been promised far more than you're really getting? Look closely, look critically, and ask yourself if George W. Bush is helping you -- or is he just helping his friends to your hard-earned money, opportunities, and benefits behind your back?

The world is a more dangerous place since you let George W. Bush hang his hat on your bedpost, America. He has alienated your friends and goaded your enemies and turned Iraq, for all its pre-war problems, into a breeding ground for new terrorists who blame you for his arrogance. You are worse off than ever before. Your air and water are dirtier, your energy costs are going up and up, and you're $454 billion in debt. You let him borrow your credit cards, America, and look what he's done to you. Four years ago, you had money in the bank. You had income. Now you're in the hole deeper than ever, and all you've got to show for it are tax cuts, wars, missile programs, and unemployment.

America, George W. Bush talks a good talk, but he's really a miserable failure.

It's time to break up with him. It's for your own good. America, you're a great country and you can do so much better. It's a tough decision, and I know you're uncertain, but you've always stood proud in the past and made the hard choices when necessary. He's no good for you.

There's a great guy for you out there, America. His name is John Kerry. He's just the guy you need right now. He's strong and has a lot of good ideas. Don't believe it when George W. Bush (and his nasty little friend Dick Cheney) tell you Kerry's a flip-flopper. It just means he thinks before he acts. Don't confuse George W. Bush's puerile stubbornness for resolve and leadership -- look where it's gotten you so far.

America, it's time to dump his ass.

[Update: eight more American soldiers have been killed in Iraq in the 24 hours that elapsed since this post was first published. Numbers updated accordingly above.]