the daily snivel

  "A blowjob from a bear in a business suit"

One of the things I bought today at the Ottawa Small Press Fair was a homemade spoken word CD called "AudioRotica" from a fairly nice husky young man at the Dusty Owl press table. I stopped by their table and couldn't help but notice the CD standing out among the more pedestrian fare of zines and broadsheets, as it was touted as a CD of gay bear erotica and was in a bright purple CD case. I bought it more or less because the creator approached me as I was hugging my friends goodbye to leave, and asked me if I wanted to buy it, and I couldn't help but feel politely obliged. He let me buy it for $5.00 instead of $10.00, which gave me the vague impression I was either being hit on or schmoozed up.

I'm listening to it right now at the Legal Clinic, as I draft memos-to-file for all of my cases, and while I'm not a connoisseur of such things, it seems fairly well written and well-read, except for the fact that all the talk of nipples and cocks and bears and balls makes me want to giggle. Sex talk is pretty silly in any event, and only moreso when it's being read in a fairly serious story voice by a person who clearly really likes talking about penises. But just to be clear on this, I'd think the same CD filled with hetero erotica would seem as cutely silly as well.

Having read my ex-girlfriend Adrianne's website a little, I saw a list she compiled of awful things said to her during or after sex. I'm trying to remember now if any of them were said by me.

Excerpt:

Top 4 worst things said to Adrianne during or just after sex:

4. "Yeeeaahhh, UNLEASH THOSE BEASTS!!!" (As she was preparing to take off her bra)
3. "I'll bring donuts next time"
2. "God, I could really go for some wood chopping right now"
1. "You're going to need a rotorouter to get THAT out!"

So the moral is, sex is a fun, silly, messy, happy thing. Go have some and then talk about it, but don't say anything you wouldn't want to see on a website (including this one) someday. 

  Rob Patronizes the Arts

(And yes, I do know the difference in meaning between "patron" and "patronize")

Today was the 10th Annual Ottawa Small Press Fair, and while it's always fun and brings in lots of creative people, so many of my friends were attending and had tables there that I simply had to take time away from my trial preparation to stop in and see what was afoot this time around. My friend Natalie of Ransom Works Press was there with some new publications, as was James Spyker, and even my nieces Bronwyn and Gwenna had a table of their creations (they had some swell stuff, including these great fridge magnets I bought). I made a lot of purchases with a view to assembling a "care package" for a certain someone who is working hard in New York City right now. I want to send some cheer and let her know she's being thought of.

I'd already spent about $20 on books, postcards and nifty creative goodies (like James' "pocket protest kit," which includes the parts to make 10 spontaneous double-sided protest signs -- he recommends "Vote for cake") when I came across the table run by a dear, old, long-lost friend of mine. Her name is Jennifer (variously referred to in the past on my journal as 'Kitten' as this was a pseudonym she used back in her teen zine days) and we were best friends for years until we stupidly lost touch and drifted apart. Recently I'd found her website, after purchasing a couple of her new zines when a friend and I were at Venus Envy (Ottawa's best, classiest, funniest sex shop for women and the people who love them). She maintains a blog about her life, and I made a point of keeping up on her stories and adventures, though I was too shy to re-introduce myself.

We had a wonderful opportunity to chat today, and briefly catch up on where we were in our lives. I let her know I was at law school, and working in poverty law/criminal law at the Community Legal Clinic. I bought a bunch of her great stuff, including a nifty "Matilda" button and a hand-stitched book of love stories, each just a paragraph long.

Jennifer said she always finds it weird when people tell her they read her blog, as I'd mentioned I'd been following along for awhile. I sympathized, as you just never know who is out there, and what they're getting out of it. Strangely, while I have no problem with complete strangers reading all about me, it's more awkward when people who know you in real life find it, and gain instant access to your private thoughts and feelings. Jennifer added that Adrianne, a person neither of us had spoken to in almost ten years (her erstwhile best friend and my erstwhile girlfriend), had contacted her to let her know that she had also been reading her blog, to her great surprise. According to Jennifer, Adrianne is designing fashions in Toronto now, and sounds quite happy.

I've referred to Adrianne in this journal in the past as "Phil." I used that name because it's a reference to the fact that she was very particular (and understandably so) about the way her name was pronounced (with emphasis on the pronunciation of "ANNE"), and on our first date I was so worried about getting it wrong that I asked if I could call her Phil instead. Today I was very pleased to hear that she was settled and seemingly happy. I've always wished Adrianne well, and always wanted to have the chance to say so. I was once very sad and hung up over the disaster of our break-up, but you just can't stay nineteen forever, and these things ultimately get "gotten over."

I was also pleased that it took me a couple of seconds to register who Adrianne was when Jennifer mentioned her. Once upon a time, I would have felt instant terror and sadness at the very mention of her name or seeing someone who looked like her in public. aside: This reminds me of the fabulous Hayden song "Wide Eyes" from his new CD, "Elk Lake Serenade" -- the verse goes: "I'm getting off at the next stop. Will you leave with me so that we can be seen by my old love, who's standing over there. She left me so stunned that I walk around scared. Wide Eyes, I think that I've seen you, and I need you to do this for me. Wrap both of your arms around me, and act like I'm all that you need." /aside

Nowadays I'm a lot less girl crazy. I mean, I adore women, but I don't veer into insanity and goofiness and melodrama as much as I did when I was a lad. Instead, my main love right now is sweet Lady Justice. Indeed, I'm holed up in the Clinic right now, preparing for a trial that will be held on Wednesday, June 16. I mean, the Crown could conceivably admit they have a weak case and withdraw it before then, but given the extremely remote possibility of something that sweet happening, I'd rather keep on drafting that examination-in-chief just in case they didn't. You know how it is.

I gave Jennifer a card with all my particulars on it, and hoped she would write it and check out my blog.

Presently, I'm pulling up more research so that I can get back into my considerations over how to get some hearsay admitted at that trial.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hope Adrianne gets the chance to read this thought someday, and sees that I'm happy we both got on with our lives, and got over one another.