Since Starbucks has long been a target of my self-righteous wrath, it only seems fair to give it the credit that is due for the chain's astonishing and commendable decision to begin selling fair trade coffee in Canada. In the years since Starbucks broke into the Canadian market, I have attempted to follow the example set by many other conscientious consumers who have ardently refused to give the ubiquitous operation any business because of its notorious coffee-buying practices. Previously, Starbucks had made a general practice of buying coffee on the basis of cost alone, without regard to the wages paid to farmers or the environmental or human rights issues in a given growing region. Not surprisingly, the only relationship between cheap and reliable sources of coffee and living wages or sustainable practices is inverse. Consequently, I have never tasted so much as a sip of Starbucks coffee, which is a hard decision to follow through on when one is as tragically addicted to caffeine as I.

"Fair trade" coffee cuts out the middlemen (coffee brokers or "coyotes") who buy coffee from farmers for pennies a pound while selling it to retailers at vastly inflated prices for a tremendous profit. Instead of relying on exploitative brokers, fair trade farmers belong to co-operatives which export the coffee directly, and for a price that brings a modest profit to the coffee industry's impoverished farmers for the first time. Farmers are paid a minimum of $1.26 for a pound of fair trade coffee -- up to three times what they would otherwise earn in a saturated market dictated by supply. This ensures a modest standard of living and encourages investment in local improvements, and a return to environmentally responsible farming practices. Of course, the battle to convince retailers to sell fair trade coffee has been a long and bitter one. Starbucks' practices have attracted considerable criticism and protest, and recent boycotts and demonstrations have gradually prompted Starbucks to pay attention to greater factors than the bottom line. Prominent NGOs such as Global Exchange and TransFair have added to the mounting political pressure since 1999. They have combined lobbying, leafletting, and demonstrations in order to raise public awareness and thereby use the company's own tools (like market forces and public relations) as a prod to action.

As of today, Starbucks outlets in Canada, the United States, and the United Kingdom all feature fair trade coffee. Not only can ethical consumers purchase their own fair trade beans by the pound, but fair trade coffee will also sell as the chain's "coffee of the day" at least once a month. This is more than the "right" decision to make -- it will also be a profitable and sound one. Such a move on the part of a major corporation will highlight the implications of fair trade coffee, and increase the demand for it. Ideally, other large retailers will also move to meet our increasing demand for social justice and responsible business practices. I think we should encourage fair trade coffee growers by supporting Starbucks in this decision, and buying fair trade coffee for ourselves. Heck, I just might go out and have my first cup of Starbucks coffee ever.

[reference: cbc.ca]

Billy and the Globosaurus

I recently completed a paper relating my thesis that the very state security measures intended to contain large demonstrations at international economic summits are in fact escalating the conflicts. As dull as that probably sounds, I do finally take you on a guided tour of why I'm so opposed to the reckless expansion of global capitalism, and present a number of chilling stories about the way our civil liberties (and in particular our freedoms of speech and assembly) are steadily being eroded. Also, some inevitable post September-11th philosophizing! Yay! Read it before you agree, or before you hate it. Once you read something, then you can think any dang thing about it you want.

Disclaimer: I have converted this essay into a .pdf file which can be viewed most handily with the free Acrobat Reader. This paper can be printed, but it has been marked with some additional copyright information and does not come with a bibliography. This is simply some token problem-causing in an age of fast and easy internet plagiarism. If you would really like to see my bibliography, please just let me know.

being a sour old crank for little fun and even less profit...

--update-- Somehow, complaining actually seemed to work for once. Although I initially got kind of a lame form letter from Molson that suggested I simply didn't appreciate their kind of humour, I have yet to see another one of those horrible commercials. Perhaps those few letters just happened to top off a very large pile of concern from many other people suffering from the very same inability to "get it." So let that be a lesson for you screwballs -- venting is good.
Here's the original fiasco, for posterity's sake.

If you live in Canada, you're undoubtedly aware of the horrible advertisements being run in order to promote one of our most infamous beers, Molson EXPORT. Now, I have nothing against a tasty beer (although I'm more of a sissy ciderboy), but these commercials have put me truly on edge. Essentially, they involve a bunch of guys out partying while sagely observing that life is "all about balance." Unfortunately the balance that they refer to is the precious balance between having sex and going out and swilling beer with your chums. Their slogan? "Have you had EX today?" Funny. The commercials can be viewed at: www.hadextoday.com and you can decide for yourself what social message they project to you.

In my considered opinion, however, the basic message of these commercials is that women are little more than things to put your penis inside of every now and then. They must otherwise be abandoned at home so that you can go out and have some real fun with the boys. In one commercial when a character even thought of giving his girlfriend a call, his outraged friends' reaction was to "hilariously" reprogram him into a person who wouldn't give her another thought.

So, because I'm a sour old crank, I decided to express my concerns in the form of a letter. I'm including it here. If you live in Canada and you also like women to be portrayed realistically and respectfully (in the time-honoured fashion of cranks, kooks, sissies, commies, and miscellaneous leftist weirdoes everywhere), why don't you use it as the basis of your own creative dissent?

My comments are in regard to the television commercials currently promoting Molson EXPORT. I have been watching this series of advertisements for some time now, but with an increasing sense of astonishment that I now feel compelled to express.

These commercials repeatedly assert that to spend time in bars with one's male friends (instead of having sex at home) is "all about balance." Indeed, when a character indicates he might want to spend some time at home with his girlfriend in any capacity, the indignation and outrage expressed by the other male characters result in nothing less than a concentrated effort to "reprogram" their errant comrade's attitudes as they pertain to his proper role in an intimate relationship.

The general message of these commercials is that the only appropriate reason to spend any time with one's girlfriend is to have sex -- and then, in the interest of "balance," she is to be left behind as soon as possible so that the liberated male can go out and party extensively with his friends. There is never any consideration of including the characters' girlfriends in these get-togethers, and outside of isolated advertisements featuring the sequestered girlfriends "resting up" at home, these girls are never featured at all.

The inescapable conclusion presented by these commercials is that women have one use and one use only -- essentially, as sexual holes to be filled and discarded for a later time, as "balance" permits.

I understand that advertisements aimed at young, partygoing men are intending to promote a light-hearted sense of fun, and the argument can be raised that these commercials should be taken tongue-in-cheek. On the other hand, as a large and prominent fixture in Canadian culture, is there not an obligation on Molson to give at least some attention and care to the broad social messages it conveys?

None of my friends, male or female, find these commercials to be relevant or in good taste. They certainly do not serve to promote your product in a positive light. We would be very curious to know your thoughts on the matter.

Molson Canada addresses:

North American Brewing Office 
175 Bloor St. E. North Tower 
Toronto, ON M4W 3S4 
t: (416) 975-1786 
f: (416) 975-4088 

National Brewing Office 
33 Carlingview Drive 
Etobicoke, ON M9W 5E4 
t: (416) 679-1786 
f: (416) 798-8391 

Ontario Region Office 
4100 Yonge StreetSuite 200 
North York, ON M2P 2E6 
t: (416) 226-1786 
f: (416) 512-3800 

More addresses can be found here:
www.iam.ca/faq

Because you want them to be your friends.

Who was the first one? Why is he cool? Do you ever stop being accepted long enough to realize you're advertising a product in a chain of people who so desperately need to be part of something, anything, that they do exactly what they're told just to belong?

You're not a leader.
You're a follower.