the daily snivel
Self pity
Remind me never to do any favours for the government. Any level of it. Not one little courtesy. Not if the Prime Minister himself came to my door and asked to borrow a cup of sugar, or even if I was asked to wipe my feet before stepping inside the fanciest civil service office building. Forget it. This is because the pure, coal-black evil that is the National Student Loans Service Centre denied me interest relief on my shockingly expensive post-law school student loan payments because I'm just not quite poor enough. Thanks. I'll remember that when you need me. I really will.
I love my job, and I wish I could stay, but the weeks are counting down to my last day on September 1, and it's amazing how few job opportunities there seem to be for a new lawyer in Ottawa right now. I'm checking Legal Aid's website, the Federal Government's website, the Lawyer's Weekly, the Ontario Reports careers section, the Faculty's career listings, the job bank, the papers careers sections, and even legal staffing agencies. It's bleak. I don't mind the idea of sleeping in for a couple of weeks in September while I look, but I wouldn't like the utter lack of income (or whatever pittance EI will give me).
So I'm feeling sorry for myself because there's no bread at home, and I'm starving after a long day of working and working out, and I can't even afford a loaf of bread to make a sandwich with. And while I'm exhausted after a long week and it's a quarter after 11 at night, I have to walk home from work (just like I walked to work this morning, and just like I've done both ways every day) because I can't afford bus tickets. And it's as well that I'm single and lonely because I couldn't afford to take someone out for coffee right now anyway.
Bah.
So, yes, feeling very black and sour and wretched this evening. It will pass. I just need to get it out. I mean, between hitting the gym regularly again, and the malnutrition, and all the walking, I've lost 15 pounds in the past month, which is amazing and gratifying and I love how much better my clothes fit. There is an upside to all this.
Additionally, I'm so glad, of course, that I was able to put so much of the resouces I do have into making George the cat feel better, and I don't regret that at all. It really is a ray of light in my days that I can some home to him and rub his tummy, which is now healed and dry and fuzzy with new fur. He purrs all the time now, and is extra affectionate whenever I'm around. You can just tell he's comfortable and content again. And it makes me feel good inside to know that, when it comes right down to it, I'd go hungry before I'd let him do so, and that his health is so important that my roommate and I are willing to forsake nearly everything to look after him.
It's worth adding that later on this weekend I will count my many blessings. I do have a lot to be thankful for. But even Ned Flanders gets to have a full scale freakout once in awhile.
Comments:I love my job, and I wish I could stay, but the weeks are counting down to my last day on September 1, and it's amazing how few job opportunities there seem to be for a new lawyer in Ottawa right now. I'm checking Legal Aid's website, the Federal Government's website, the Lawyer's Weekly, the Ontario Reports careers section, the Faculty's career listings, the job bank, the papers careers sections, and even legal staffing agencies. It's bleak. I don't mind the idea of sleeping in for a couple of weeks in September while I look, but I wouldn't like the utter lack of income (or whatever pittance EI will give me).
So I'm feeling sorry for myself because there's no bread at home, and I'm starving after a long day of working and working out, and I can't even afford a loaf of bread to make a sandwich with. And while I'm exhausted after a long week and it's a quarter after 11 at night, I have to walk home from work (just like I walked to work this morning, and just like I've done both ways every day) because I can't afford bus tickets. And it's as well that I'm single and lonely because I couldn't afford to take someone out for coffee right now anyway.
Bah.
So, yes, feeling very black and sour and wretched this evening. It will pass. I just need to get it out. I mean, between hitting the gym regularly again, and the malnutrition, and all the walking, I've lost 15 pounds in the past month, which is amazing and gratifying and I love how much better my clothes fit. There is an upside to all this.
Additionally, I'm so glad, of course, that I was able to put so much of the resouces I do have into making George the cat feel better, and I don't regret that at all. It really is a ray of light in my days that I can some home to him and rub his tummy, which is now healed and dry and fuzzy with new fur. He purrs all the time now, and is extra affectionate whenever I'm around. You can just tell he's comfortable and content again. And it makes me feel good inside to know that, when it comes right down to it, I'd go hungry before I'd let him do so, and that his health is so important that my roommate and I are willing to forsake nearly everything to look after him.
It's worth adding that later on this weekend I will count my many blessings. I do have a lot to be thankful for. But even Ned Flanders gets to have a full scale freakout once in awhile.
