the daily snivel
Despoiling the Harry Potter spoiler...
My friend Natalie passed along a brilliant link to The Guardian's Book page where readers were invited to submit entries in a contest to find the best rewrite of the [ultimate new Harry Potter spoiler scene] in the words of another author. As my friend states in her message, however, "I don't even want you to dare to visit this website I'm going to provide you unless you've finished reading the Harry Potter because it contains the spoiler of all spoilers splashed in big bold letters every single place you look... Just by visiting the site, the book will be spoiled." So don't read the site unless you've finished the book. But when and only when you finish the book, you simply must, must read the entire climax as written by Irvine Welsh (as cleanly exerpted below):
Ultimately, you can run the whole gamut here.
Comments:The sweat wis lashing oafay Ron; he wis tremblin. Ah wis jist sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, focusing on ma new Choaclit Frog jizz mag, tryin no tae notice the cunt. He wis bringing me doon. Ah tried to keep ma attention oan Wendolin the Weird, who wis takin oaf her bikini toap.
- Potts. Ah've goat tae see the Professor, the boy Weasley gasped, shaking his heid.
Ah wanted the radge tae jist fuck oaf ootay ma specs, tae go oan his ain and jist leave us wi wee Wendolin. Oan the ither hand, ah'd be needin a Cheerin Charm n aw before long, n if that cunt went n scored he'd haud oot oan us, the sick basturt.
Ultimately, you can run the whole gamut here.
Irvine Welsh - super!
Ah read it aloud twice.
So, er, listen... I 'ave no webmail and no Eudora (thank you, useless community ISP). I sent yer some e-mail, but cannae get a reply.
Can ya post ta mae journal in private?
Ah read it aloud twice.
So, er, listen... I 'ave no webmail and no Eudora (thank you, useless community ISP). I sent yer some e-mail, but cannae get a reply.
Can ya post ta mae journal in private?
