the daily snivel
Congratulations: You're an Urban Asshole
The always clever and hip Celeste (whose title is listed as "executive honeybunch" in my address book) points out another handy notification system along the lines of the SHHH cards I pointed out last week. As much as I don't truly get angry about trivia, it is nevertheless true that there are a great many inconsiderate assholes out there who make life just that little bit more frustrating, and periodically make me wish I belonged to a different species. Kindness and good manners are a rare treasure in this cold, me-first, gay-marriage-is-evil, Hummer-driving world. Have a gander:
Assholes rarely know why they are the way they are, so here’s a clue for you on your journey of self-improvement:
- Double parking
- Parking in handicap space
- Leaving dog in car
- Not shovelling sidewalk
- Creating your own parking space
- Talking really loudly on cell phone while riding public transportation
- Being a loud inconsiderate neighbour
- Cutting in line
- Bringing sixteen items to the fifteen-item express lane
- Not tipping / not tipping enough
- Not cleaning up after yourself
- Not controlling dog
- Not giving up seat on public transportation when someone obviously needs it more than you
- Walking three abreast on city sidewalks
- Leaving trash outside your apartment door
- Not dealing with car alarm
- Excessive car-horn honking
- Leaving kids in car
- Leaving your car idling while you run into the store
- Snacking on produce and bulk items in grocery store
- Opening car door without looking and endangering cyclists
- Smoking in non-smoking areas
- Taking up too much time with teller because you don't understand how banking works
- Using an ATM for 18 consecutive transactions when people are waiting
- Not letting others cut grocery line if they have only a couple items
- Berating servicepeople for things not their fault
- Parking too close to other cars thereby blocking them in
- Not letting others out of the train/bus/store/post office before pushing way in
- Not making more coffee when you finish the pot
- Wearing too much perfume or cologne
- Stopping to chat or look around in front of doorway, elevator or escalator
- Leaving laundry sitting idle in machine at laundromat
- Littering
- Talking loudly on cell phone
- Not holding the door for the person behind you whose arms are full
- Using Barnes & Noble as den
- Bringing child to R-rated film
- Stinking up office with foul meals and snacks
- Trying to sneak through a yellow light, ending up parked in intersection, blocking traffic
- Sneezing without covering nose and offering snotty handshake
- Not wiping equipment down after you've gotten it sweaty at gym
- Not washing hands after using washroom
- Plus a blank entry for you to write in
pack size :: 10 cards
card size :: 3.5 x 6 inches
colour :: full-colour front, greyscale back
